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Post by JB007 on Sept 8, 2006 21:15:41 GMT -5
ASPEN: "God please let my car start" part X cont
Yes indeedy. The Inn was cougar central. I was in my perfect environment. Day after break-up so let see which cougar wants TJ today. I was feeling fine. My brother picked up his powder turns and there were very attractive women everywhere. I was in my happy place.
But then things took a turn for the worse. 3 people that had directly influenced my break up with Kat all just walked in through the front door together. Those 3 people were Scott, Tamara, and sadly Kat. Scott was doing all he could to make it look like Kat was with him. She finally told him to fukk off. But Tamara and Kat were chatting like best friends. Which honestly made me wonder "what the fukk" just a bit. Maybe Tamara was double checking my shoe size with Kat after her bathroom staring job a few days before. I know most likely not, but allow me this one little male fantasy. However, my gut was telling me that Tamara was pumping Kat for info pretending to be her best friend BS. I knew this was what she was doing because Kat went to the bathroom and Tamara bought my table a pitcher on the sly.
I don't really know who Tamara was trying to fool. Kat was a high profile girl. And by now everybody knew we had broken up. Everybody also knew it was over bullschit. I got set up by Scott because he wanted Kat. Yes I know it sounds like some bad Thursday night TV series plot. But that was the way it was. I hurt like hell seeing Kat. It still hurts when I think about that day.
Well the pitcher arrived. My Mom and Gage new what was going on because they could tell by how my demeanor had changed when Kat walked in with Scott and Tamara. They pressed me about what was going on. So I filled them in on the last 48hrs. Now you have to remember my Mom was the first female foreman in General Motors history. She won't take schit off of nobody. It shocked me what happened next. Mom took Tamara's pitcher and walked it back over to Tamara's table where Scott, Kat, and 5 or 6 others from the "pretty people clique" were sitting. Mom went strait for Scott. I felt sorry for the poor boy. Well no I didn't. I was enjoying every bit of what my Mom was about to do. She was a pro at taking guys down a peg or two.
Mom: Hi I'm Jerri. TJ's mother. I just want to say that I bet you have a size 2 shoe.
With that she poured the entire pitcher in Scott's crotch. Not on Scotts head, but on his crotch. Everybody was laughing as she did it. Scott didn't know what to do. Here was this short 5'1" chubby woman that basically told him she could kick his ass. The remark she said next was priceless.
Mom: There now you have a size 1 shoe. Actually I bet that is your originally shoe size. We all know how men like to exaggerate the length of their shoe size. In your case that would be ski boot.
It was the funniest damn thing I've ever heard my mother say. And she can come up with some doozy's. Scott couldn't do a thing but run to the mens room hoping that the Inn had a hot air hand dryer otherwise he would be stuck with a size 1 shoe the rest of the night. Infact someone, gosh who could it be? Well got a nickname started for Scott calling him: "Baby shoes". Man if you ever wanted to get him pissed off, and many people did. Well just call him: "Mr. Babyshoes" and that was all it took.
After a bit Kat got up and walked over to me. I told her to leave me alone and she left. Tamara on the other hand dropped a napkin off on my lap as she followed. The napkin had her phone number on it circled in red lips. The woman had no morals at all. But she did have a great ass.
Mom: TJ I know this hurts you. But a girl that can't make up her mind like that is bad news. You are better off without her.
Me: Mom Kat is a beautiful women and has never been told no before. That is the only reason she came over here. She's a hot woman and I'm sure she will find some rich guy she wants to be with other than a skibum.
Mom: Is that what it is. She got mad and pulled out the money card.
Me: Well in a nut shell yes and no. But she made it known to me what class she thought I belonged in. She took it back later but the damage was done. I can't go through a relationship wondering "what does she really feel about me" all the time. Time heals all wounds. Besides there are alot of beautiful women in Aspen
Well my Mom wanted to do what all moms want to do and take the conversation to a deeper level with her little boy to help ease his pain. I didn't want to do that. Frankly I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I had to go back to work the next day. Luckily it was for only one day and then I had my normal 2 days off after that. I was really looking forward to those 2 days off after seeing the extended weather report. Another storm was supposed to hit the following night. Hell Ajax already had a 57" base and it was just a couple of days after Christmas. Some old timers were comparing this Dec to the December of 83 where it snowed for 3 weeks strait.
Well we got home. There was a note from Kat on my door to call her right away. I decided not too. I needed to think about it some more. Clay and George (2 ski instructor friends that lived upstairs) came walking in and asked if I wanted to burn a joint with them. I accepted as soon as they asked. I needed to basically be distracted by sitting with my fellow "SKIBUMS" catching a buzz and talking about skiing of course.
Clay: So Teej. Word on the street is that you can Kat are done.
Me: Yes. Clay if you don't mind I really don't want to talk about it. Big storm is supposed to hit tomorrow night late. I'm going to take my brother up to Hanging Valley and make him piss his bibs. Wanna come.
Clay: Can't it is Stephanie's day off and we are skiing together.
Me: So things are going good with you and Steph then. The Great Clay is finally settling down.
Clay: Well from what I've been told you would pick up the slack with no problem. Hell every female ski instructor keeps asking me about you when they found out I lived above you. You've made an impression whether you like it or not.
Me: Names and phone numbers Clay. Names and phone numbers.
George: Hey Teej I'll go. I'll bring Breck and Adam too. Hey Clay can I use your truck since you will be with Steph. We'll park it on the backside road leading to Buttermilk and ski the OB off of Elk Camp down to your truck at the end the day.
Clay: Wow George that is a great idea. Tell ya what Steph and I will go with you guys. Should be a great day.
So plans were made for skiing Hanging Valley wall in Snowmass on my first day off. I still had to get through tomorrow at work though. Should be easy right. Heh right!
to be cont[/]
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Post by JB007 on Sept 10, 2006 23:17:54 GMT -5
ASPEN: "God please let my car start" part X cont
Well I got to work the next morning and I felt great. Funny how a good nights sleep can do wonders for the soul. It most certainly did for me. My headache was gone at least. And to be honest. It wasn't to bad having my mom and Gage staying with me. Although it had only been two nights so far, my inner voice was saying "give it time, give it time".
Gage was going to be skiing with Doug my downstairs neighbor at Aspen Highlands today. That kind of bugged me, because I hadn't skied Aspen Highlands since it opened. My little brother was going to beat me to that and I'm sure to hear about it later tonight. Why you ask? Because I mentioned that fact to Doug last night when he asked me if Gage was a good enough skier to join him. Like I said. I'm sure I would hear an epic story later on.
Well I got to work. Right away I get called into Smitty's office. Now I knew I would be. Hell I just got done going into the hospital on a work related injury. There would be all kinds of forms to fill out. So I went in and stood in front of Smitty's desk while he was on the phone with Charlie the maintenance guy that lives in the apt under Ruthie's. tic tic tic the time went by.
Smitty: TJ glad to see you are up and doing OK. You won't be skiing until the doctor clears you so Chip will take you down from the top of 1A today when the mtn closes. Now before you get upset about this it is protocol, so bare with us until the Doctor clears you.
Me: OK. I understand
Chip: Teej you ready to go.
And with that Chip and I headed out to the skidoo for the ride up to the top of 1A for the start of another normal day in OZ. Boy was I wrong. I get outside and there is a patrol sled tied to the back of the skidoo with a sign that reads: "Just in case TJ gets another boo boo". To make matters worse there was a helmet painted pink for me to wear on the ride up.
Me: Very fukking funny you clowns. Very funny.
Chip: Sorry TJ but you have to wear the helmet.
Me: Like hell I do. I might take a schit in it later though.
Smitty: TJ you have to wear the helmet until the Doctor clears you.
Schit, damn, fukk. I've been had I tell you. I've been had. They got me good. I'm sure all of you are just imagining the site of me riding in the back of a skidoo wearing a pink spray painted helmet. I looked like Chips "gay skidoo biker beoch" bouncing on the back end of that skidoo going up the mtn. I could still hear the laughters echoing up the mtn 2000' up when I arrived at the top of lift 1A. I must have been a site. I just got put into Ajax folklore, and it sure as hell wasn't the way I had imagined it.
When I got off of the skidoo I noticed Charlie the maintenance guy had already cleared the cowcatchers out for me. I was surprised by this, but Charlie filled me in on why he was there.
Me: Charlie what gives. Why are you doing this.
Charlie: Well seems when you were told to clean them out while the lift was running was a big no no. Legal memo was put out about it right away. SkiCo lawyers even talked to all of the supervisors and us maintenance guys.
Me: You mean they think I'm going to sue over this.
Charlie: Yep. Val completely broke the rules telling you to do that. She's in some hot water.
Me: What about me. Am I in hot water?
Charlie: TJ you did nothing wrong, so don't worry about it.
Me: Charlie I'm not the suing type so would you pass that along. It just happened. That's all.
And with that Ed called me up to check our stops to start the lift up. We finished our stops and got the lift turning. And I had a great day of work it turns out. You see since I ran the top of 1A I got to meet, see alot of skiing celebs everyday. I say skiing celebs because they were there to ski. When a celebrity is there to ski they take 1A up in the morning to not be noticed. If they want to be noticed they take the VIP line at the Gondola when there is a long line up so everybody must look at them and take pictures. That is it in a nutshell. It seems a few 1A celeb regulars missed my presence Christmas morning.
Martina: TJ. Merry Chrismas. I missed you on Christmas Morning. Come here I have some mistletoe I must have a kiss
I'll let you figure out who Marty is.
to be cont
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Post by JB007 on Sept 11, 2006 21:28:30 GMT -5
ASPEN: "God please let my car start"Well Martina Navratilova gave me my Christmas kiss and a gift certificate to Aspen Sports. Now back then is when she was royally coming out of the closet. But I will tell you what. I've seen that woman in a bathing suit and that body is smoking hot. Besides she is a pretty cool lady. Marty: So TJ do I get a kiss on New Years Eve too?
Me: Marty I would kiss you anytime you wanted me too.
Marty: Such flattery. My girlfriend will be jealous now.
Me: Well I'll kiss her to if you want.
Marty: Ah TJ you naughty naughty boy. You make riding this lift much more fun to start my day. They should pay you more.
Me: I wish. But the fringe benefits of running this lift makes up for it. Merry Christmas Marty. Well for the next hour nothing really happened. Then what I like to refer to as "the woman" was coming up the lift line. Now this lady has come up my lift everyday at 9:30am. And she was simply stunning. And everyday she rode the lift up I would hit the slow button just before she got off of the chair to extend admiring her beauty for just a few more seconds. She was that stunning. I didn't find out her name until two days before I left for boot camp later in the season. Everyday I would slow the lift and she would blush. We would say some kind of flirty remarks and laugh. It really did help to make my day happier just seeing her. And don't get me started about what she looked like in Stretch pants. Personally I think this is where loose jibber pants got invented. Because I promise you that you would have a boner just watching her ski in those things. <back in 5 I need a cold shower> Well the day went uneventful after that. I just watched one happy butt after another unload off of Chair 1A. Enjoying another beautiful day in Aspen. Before I knew it the day was over. We flipped all of the seats back up and called last chair. Another day done. Then Chip showed back up with my pink helmet. A few things have been added however. Such as flowers, kotex, ducttape, and other schit. I decided to deflate Chips joy of extending his little joke. Me: Fukking sweet helmet man. Please tell me that we can grab a camera real quick at the bottom.
Chip: Ummmm, you are not mad or anything.
Me: Oh hell no. I love it. Just what I would have done. And with Chips puzzled look I put on said helmet of honor and we drove to the bottom of the mtn at the Gondola. Right in front of everybody apre partying at Little Nell's. Some didn't quite know what to think about my pink decorated helmet. But after I got off of the sled and took a few bows I got quite a few free beers later. Well I got back to my apt. My mom had cooked spaghetti for what seemed like 20 people in the Holiday House apts. It was a blast. It was one giant Christmas Spagetti diner. Mom gave the skibums in those apts a sense of home with their own moms for a week. It was really special to witness how it touched peoples lives. Sharing my mom with friends that couldn't be with their moms was the perfect Christmas present for all. And the dinner was killer. Besides I was going to need the energy for Hanging Valley tomorrow. That area of Snowmass had been open for a week because of all of the snow we had received. We all couldn't wait. My mom had packed lunches for all 7 of us that would be going. So while everybody said their goodnite and went to bed. I went outside to get some air. It was snowing again. And it was snowing friggen hard. I knew I would sleep like a baby in dream land and then I would wake up to a dream day. buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz Me: Gage get up. Time to go ski freshAnd like a bolt of lightning Gage was up and ready to go. I didn't even get to finish saying: "time to go ski fresh powder" and he was ready. I dressed and went up stairs to make sure George and Clay were ready. Clay left to stay with Stephanie last night. George was going to pick up Adam. Breck was going to meet us at the rodeo parking lot with Clay and Steph. George: TJ follow me to Adams and then to drop the truck off.
Me: Sure but it is going to be tight in my car.
George: Well you don't have to worry about our skis because they are at the instructor locker room.
Me: No worries. I don't think HV will be open until after patrol bombs it good. Maybe around 10:30 or so it might open. Same thing for the Cirque. I think we should start by skiing the runs off of Sam's and big-burn first.
George: Ya that is exactly what we were thinking last night. Garrets should be great too.
Me: Hey it's 6:30 we better get rocking.And with that we were off. Gage was pretty nervous. He had never skied anything like this. Doug scared him pretty good at Highlands yesterday. Like I said his knuckles were white in my car. So I decided to be big brother and cut him some slack. Me: If you don't fall you haven't skied.
Gage: What? What are you talking about.
Me: If you haven't tried your best and fallen several times then you haven't skied hard. Relax about today. You are a good skier. I'll be there with you each turn.
Gage: Ya right. This comes easy to you. Dammit TJ all sports come easy to you.
Me: Hey take it easy. I'm scared too. But that is what makes it fun too. But I'll tell ya what. When skiing in the back county ski it like it is a moto cross course. Seriously. Pick a line with a bunch of terrain bumps and pillows in it. And imagine it a moto course with camel jumps, table tops and all. Then let the world be your oyster.
Gage: Seriously. Ski it like it is a moto cross course. Are you serious?
Me: Yes I'm serious. Your skiing position is exactly the same as the way you sit on the bike. Seriously just visualize it before you push off. I'll be right on your butt so make it so I cannot catch you and you will be fine. Well we met up with everyone at the rodeo lot. Everybody but Gage and I had to get their gear at the locker room, so we went to the timbermill and had breakfast really quick. We got the continental side of the buffet. Gage learned his lesson on the first day. Finally we all load up to go up. We were actually 3rd in line before the Coney Glade quad opened up. I still couldn't believe the snow report. 14" of fresh and still falling. Maybe Hanging Valley might not open with all of this snow and still falling. The cirque most likely won't be open at all with all of this snow. So we decided to warm up on a few of the big burn trails and then just let things happen until we knew for sure what was going to open up. Then boom went the dynamite. "and that sounds hot"- Glen Plake from the ski movie "Blizzard of Ahh's"And it did sound hot. We started off by just smoking Sneaky's. Man it was brilliant snow. Light and waist deep. We were choking on it the snow was so deep. Gage was indeed skiing it like a motocross course. So were the rest of us. The day was going to be killer. We were all on top of our game. Fukk piss breaks. Fukk the stops, we are skiing God's most wonderful dandruff. Take no prisoners and just ski. Fukking yeeee haaaa to be cont
P.S. Gang I'm not going to post any more chapters until you all tell me how wonderful they are.
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Post by richierich on Sept 12, 2006 14:25:27 GMT -5
please, please post more. will that work?
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Post by Jilly on Sept 12, 2006 15:42:22 GMT -5
I'm adding to that statement. And JB I would like to meet your mom. My kind of lady. I don't think I've ever dumped the pitcher on a guy, but thrown the odd drink yah!
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Post by JB007 on Sept 13, 2006 21:33:17 GMT -5
ASPEN:"Please God let my car start" part X cont
Well with the way it was snowing on top at the Big Burn quad it was no wonder the mtn was so empty. Visibility was schit. But the snow was just coming down. And when the snow is coming down like this it chases all of the lower intermediate to beginners away from the Big Burn. Most head to the Elk Camp area of Snowmass for better visibility.
But like I said it was puking. Nobody was there. We got to hit all of Big Burn while it was basically empty. Dallas Freeway was killer. Dallas's lower face is a steep pitch that you can just gas it on, but beware of the compression gulch at the very bottom. If you hit that fast on a snowy day it can launch you to the moon and the landing is going to hurt. I promise!
But then there is Powerline. You just get off of the chair and litterly follow the power lines down the mtn. It comes down into roller coaster glades with some wicked ass hits at the very bottom. There are some tight pucker spots in the trees, but you just have to trust yourself to keep the gas on going through them. I heard nothing but "yee haa's" and "awesome" coming out of everyones mouths. When we finally managed to breath with all the snow hitting our faces. Everybody stayed together. Like I said we were all on the same page that day. It was epic and it was going to get better.
After our fourth run. Gage was trying to catch his breath, secretly so were the rest of us, but nobody would dare show it. So I suggested a Joint session in the trees. Yes all benefited. But Gage was smoking a Marlboro at the same time.
Clay: Man it is no wonder you are winded if you smoke.
Gage: Well it sure couldn't hurt me any worse right now.
Clay: You do know that when they open up the Wall we will have to hike about 20 minutes.
And with that Gage turned positively green and spewed stew. His nerves had gotten the best of him. He blew cornflakes, bananas, strawberries and 3 cups of coffee all over the snow. It looked like a bear had a bad case of the runs. It was nasty. But Gage felt better. Goody for him because now all of us wanted to spew stew. Boy doesn't reading this part make you want to go brush your teeth all of the sudden?
Well after we moved down about 20 yards to finish smoking the joint. We put a roach clip on it before it got passed to Gage again by the way. Even though Gage gargled with a snort of Georges whiskey I didn't feel like tasting his strawberries. So we all got our breath. Drank some water or whatever George brought. But then we heard it in succession. boom boom boom boom boom
George: Take ye cover women and children. Dar be war a cum in.
Steph: Look out George is stoned. He is playing Pirate again.
Truth be told George did look like a pirate. A "Hickabob Crane" looking pirate. George was 6'5" and maybe weighed 150lbs with a nose pigeons could rest on. And he had this very deep voice. I told him he should go out to hollyweird and become a character actor. He would get tons of work on sitcoms, horror movies, and comedies just because of his looks and voice alone. Well anyway George was doing his pirate deal. Clay was getting ancy to go as was I. Finally Adam spoke up and we all just took off.
Adam: Well everybody is just happy aren't we. Those bombs were over by the Wall. I suggest we head to the High Alpine chair and hit that area until the gate opens.
And with that we were off. I told Gage to stay with me. We were hitting Garrets Gulch down to the Alpine Springs chair for the ride up to the High Alpine chair. Now Garrets is a wide open tree line you can just gas it and go. Steady pitch all the way down, but gets tight and bumpy at the bottom. Still it's one of the funnest runs there.
So we get to the Alpine Springs chair and all get their butts loaded. Back then the "Alpine Springs" was a double chair slow ride from hell. That is why those runs didn't get skied out to often off of that chair. Now there is a high speed quad and it is a New York traffic nightmare on those runs. Well we unloaded and were quickly disappointed that the High Alpine lift wasn't running. Luckily Breck knew the lifty at the bottom.
Breck: Hey Duane. When you opening?
Duane: Should be in about an hour and a half maybe. I guess it is pretty wind loaded up there. Patrol should be coming down soon.
Me: What's the snow total amount up there?
Duane: 23" since last night.
Adam: Is the Cirque going to open?
Duane: I don't know. Doubt it though
So we did two runs down Naked Lady and Lodgepole We decided to go into Gwyn's Alpine Lodge (Now called Gordon's) to dry out, get some food, and then hopefully the Wall will open.
Gage: TJ. I don't think I can ski much more. My legs are toast.
Me: Here drink a bunch of gator aid and eat 3 tumms. Gage you do not want to miss this. It really isn't hard at all, but if you don't go with us you will be kicking yourself in the ass forever.
Finally we heard the call. They were opening it. The dash was on. We got chairs 2-6. When we get off it is a mad dash towards Roberto's and dropping the eye. The eye was a cornice entrance but if you stayed skiers left what looked like it cliffed out didn't really. This was where the goods were. You could air it out and land really safely. We all went. Gage was first and did really well except for a few very ugly step turns. Clay did his usual backstratcher off of cornice right. Everybody else just dove in and made turns. I went skiers left. I was feeling pretty roosterish and wanted to show off in front of little brother. So I got more speed than what I should have. I hit the lip and launched. OH SCHIT![/i]
to be cont
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Post by Jilly on Sept 13, 2006 21:52:47 GMT -5
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Post by JB007 on Sept 14, 2006 1:07:36 GMT -5
Sorry you are just going to have to find out what happened tomorrow
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Post by richierich on Sept 14, 2006 8:40:22 GMT -5
i'm guessing gravity wins.
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Post by Rocknronny on Sept 14, 2006 15:55:33 GMT -5
i'm guessing gravity wins. HUMMM I think you might be right there Rich. ;D
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Post by JB007 on Sept 14, 2006 22:28:22 GMT -5
"ASPEN: "Please God let my car start" part X cont
Now I bet you all are thinking I was toast. So did I. You see from above that lip that slope looked like it was nothing. But when I hit it. I gave it all I got and launched. And guess what there was a cliff at the bottom as well. Ooops!! It just looked like it was one solid slope going down all white, fluffy, and pretty from all the falling snow. It wasn't pretty at all. The bottom was a good 20' cliff then it was slope again. Now add another 30' or so from the top of the lip where I launched off of down to where the cliff started. I was doing my first 50 footer. oh schit indeed!
Frankly when I was in the air doing my spread eagle I thought I was dead. Allot of schit was going through my mind. Then a little voice came into my head. It was from one of the Black hat instructors at Airborne training: Think ragdoll and get completely relaxed. Feet and knees together. Elbows in at your sides. Exhale when you hit.
What do you know that training does stay with you forever. I did just what my training told me to do. I relaxed and kept my body parts together. I landed. I exhaled. I became a bomb hole. A big bomb hole. I just kept thinking to push up because I couldn't see any light. Then I saw light. I stood up and took a very deep breath. The kind of breath a baby first takes when it is born. Deep, desperate, and life giving. Surely a scream must follow.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
My God what have I just done. I looked back up and it was huge. Absolutely fukking huge I tell you. How did I fukking survive that? How did I land that? Well I landed softly because of a schitload of powder snow for one, but I did stick the landing in skiing standards anyway. That being it wasn't a big wipeout landing and I'm skiing away. Don't ask me how I did this. Because I promise you this. I bet if I was hitting that lip to cliff drop again knowing that I was going to intentionally do it. Forget about it. I would crash, burn, and then be hospitalized 10 out of 10 times. I got lucky pure and simple. To everybody else I was a ski stud beyond belief. Me I was just hoping I could keep from spewing stew after it all sunk in.
George: damn Teej that was the most incredible skiing I've ever seen.
Clay: Wow TJ I'm just glad I got to see that. Nobody does that.
Gage: Hey that was my big brother that did that.
Me: Guys I had no fukking idea that was there. I just thought I would get alittle air on and then an easy hip check turn. I don't know how I did that. I don't and please don't ask me to go up there and do it again. Because I will not. George I need some some of your booze buddy.
George: Dar maty, here u bee
I think I drank about half of what was in George's flask. Good God I was still shaking. I felt like my car had just gotten destroyed by a semi and I got thrown free of the wreckage without a scratch on me. Better to be lucky than dead I guess. But I skied like schit for a bit afterwards until the butterflies left my stomach.
We worked our way down skiers left to the Hanging Valley Glades. Man they were sweet. Knee deep powder trees on a steep pitch is skiing nirvana as far as I am concerned. Nice pillow rocks intertwined in the terrain. I've always loved those trees. In fact most powder skiing dreams I have are of skiing deep powder in those trees.
Well we skied down to the Turkey Trot trail to start heading back up to turn another lap on the wall. I found myself skiing carefully all of the sudden and tight. Then my little voice kicked back in and told me to relax. And I did. The gas got turned back on. Vaaaaaarrrrrrroooooooooooommmmmmmmm.
So back up we go for another lap. The headwall had opened up and that is where we were heading as soon as we unloaded off of the High Alpine chair. There was about 15 people in front of us. Most left for Roberto's. The headwall wasn't that bad. Maybe 10feet at that time. We just hit it at an angle just to be on the safe side in case of avalanches even though patrol bombed it good. You can never be to careful. And I'm glad we were. SWOOSH
Breck was bringing up the rear and set off a small slab on his first turn after landing. It was scary for sure. What was scarier is that not 5 turns later Clay set off a small one too. And this area isn't too avi prone because it gets skied all of the time, but it is early in the season so the snow pack isn't too settled yet. We better boogie oogie out of here. So we did disco'd out of there most quickly. We stayed high and worked our way down to the Sandy Park trail. George notified Patrol that we set off the slides and that we were all accounted for. They closed Hanging Valley after that. damn!!!
Well we ended the rest of the day doing two runs in the trees off of Sandy's. Then we rode the Elk Camp chair up one more time to take one of the slots down to Clays truck. You have to hike up a bit skiers right on top of the ridge at Elk Camp. There is a trail called "Long Shot" there now. But that is not what we took. And sorry I can't tell you what stash we took either. But it was pristine powder skiing. We had to stay close together because it was snowing like hell and only Clay and George knew where we were going very well. It was only last week when Clay and George showed this stash to me. I was just playing follow the leader. And in knee deep pow that is my favorite game.
Well we got to the rendezvous area. We all drank some water and whatever George had left. Smoked some wacky tobacky and chatted for awhile. That is when Stephanie said the most amazing thing all day.
Steph: Umm George where is Clays truck?
to be cont
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Post by Blighty on Sept 15, 2006 1:47:48 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D
Where indeed ??
JB keep the story coming just caught up on the last few episodes and enjoying it immensely. Currently in Dubai for 4 months but still managing to ski thanks to the indoor ski centre , it has to be seen to be believed ... Chair lift and Poma totally surreal 40 Celsius outside -1 on the slope
Snow but no powder
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Post by JB007 on Sept 17, 2006 22:16:35 GMT -5
New chapter coming up tomorrow. ;D
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Post by JB007 on Sept 18, 2006 23:14:30 GMT -5
"ASPEN: Please God let my car start" part X cont
Clay: Yes George where is my truck.
George: Well I parked it right in that field parking area right over there like always. I wonder if that rancher had it towed.
Breck: Man Sandy would never tow anybody's car. He lets us park there all of the time. He's cool. He's a skier.
Steph: Well then it got stolen then.
George: No offense Clay but your truck is a piece of schit man. I don't think anybody would steal it.
I had noticed Clay wasn't saying much. If my car/truck had been stolen I would be saying allot. Running to a phone to call the Sheriff most rikki tik is what I would be doing. But Clay still just didn't say anything. And Steph kept doing the stolen truck bit to the hilt. I smelled something foul in the air.
Me: Well I will tell you what I think. I think clever Stephanie here had Clay move the truck with his spare key
Steph froze. Unable to move her jaw, which was actually a relief considering that it was moving so much, and so fast before. Clay just got really red faced and started laughing. BUSTED!
Clay: Yes we followed you guys and as soon as George dropped the truck off I took my spare keys and moved it behind that metal barn on the other side of hill.
Breck: Not the big metal barn with the backhoes and other machinery?
Clay: Yes why?
Breck: Well everybody put your thumb out we will be walking a bit. That is SkiCo property. And they will tow you for parking there. It happened to me first year here. Funny fukking joke Clay.
Clay: Sorry guys. Well hell it might not be towed. Let's at least go look. I bet it is still there.
Luckily the truck was still there. Our spirits were raised very briefly until we discoverd instead of towing the truck they put a "tire boot" on it so it couldn't be driven. Nice $50 ticket under the wiper blade too. Ticket said to call this one number and a person would be out to unlock the tire boot and collect the fine. One huge problem. Cell phones weren't really out yet and there wasn't a phone for 5 miles. So I'm thinking.
We have basically one choice. Walk all the way down the road to a house to use their phone, then turn around and walk back in ski boots to make matters worse. We can't really hope to be picked up hitch hiking since nobody really drives this road after 3pm. Then a wicked idea hit me. A very wicked idea hit me.
Me: Breck doesn't this road leading back to Snowmass crest over about a 1/2 mile up. It should be nothing but a downward decent all the way to the cross country trails next to the Snowmass Golf course?
Breck: Yes this road does exactly that.
Me: How much snow would you say this elevation has received in the last 24hrs.
Breck: Hell about a foot to a foot and a half.
Me: In the last 5 days?
Breck: Triple that. Oh I get it. Ya the coverage would be enough to do it. We could follow the right ridge all the way down.
Me: Yep and then hit the cross country trails and glide all the way to the Rodeo lot.
Gage: What are you guys talking about?
Clay: We are going to ski another run.
Gage: How can we? We are out of mountain.
Me: No we're not. Actually I bet we are getting a first decent. We just need to get to the cross country trails before anybody sees us and while some light is left.
So we disco'd out of there most quickly. We got to the ridge and put our skis back on. The snow was a bit heavier than on top which was good in case we hit thin spots. This way the rocks would be covered and the small bush snakes that can snag you would stay down. But it seemed bottomless heavy snow the entire way down. Very gentle beginner type grade slope to ski even. Some spots you didn't even turn. All you did was point them and let them fly.
After about 90 minutes we worked our way to the cross country course that went around the golf course. It was pitch black. There were a few people out. We were exhausted. Seriously exhausted. Ended up doing allot of poling and skating. Finally at 6:30pm we made it to the Rodeo parking lot. Steph took Clay and George to take care of the Truck. I took Adam and Breck home after taking their gear back to the ski instructors lockerroom. Gage and I finally got home at 8pm. My Mom was alittle upset.
Mom: So what happened. I guess no going out to dinner tonight.
Me: Sorry Mom. What was meant as a cute practical joke turned out to be a life lesson. We ended up skiing, skating, hiking about 2 hours because Clay thought it would be cute to move his truck that George was driving after George stash parked it for our last ski run of the day.
Mom: Wanna speak English to me.
Me: Clay moved the truck to trick us all. Clay parked the truck in private parking and it got "tire booted" by a towing company. We ending up having to trek a long ways back to my car to take care of it. It took two hours.
Gage: Yes and I cannot move and I'm not going to move. I'm so tired.
Mom: So you had fun then.
Gage: Mom it was the most incredible day of skiing I've ever had in my life. I skied snow up to my chest on really expert stuff. TJ went over this 100' cliff and landed. And I didn't think I could ever ski that stuff.
Mom: Oh my God. TJ you did what?
Me: Mom it was like 10'. And it was allot of snow to land in. Seriously it was nothing. You know me I don't do stupid things.
Mom: That depends upon who deems what is stupid and what isn't. To you nothing is stupid. Your the kid that jumped off of the roof onto his "Bozo the Clown" punching bag at 5 years old and broke his leg.
Me: Mom I just sprain my ankle bad that was all. And I had Dad's golf umbrella too. And why even bring that up.
Mom: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. TJ promise me that you will rethink your limits. Haven't you gotten enough broken bones and stitches to know better by now. You just got out of the hospital with a concussion. Think alittle bit please.
Me: Mom you are right. I was careless. I will be better prepared.
And with that I took my mom to dinner at the MotherLoad restaurant. She had the Duck. I had humble pie with a 3 beer chaser. Why 3 beers because my mother took me through my entire medical life history during her "Coming to God" speech. I was just looking past her and out the window during her verbal motherload at the "MotherLoad". It was snowing again and tomorrow we be skiing Ajax. A mountain on powder days that skiers fall in love with and forever wish to return too or dream about. Walsh's and Christies should be killer trails to rip it up tomorrow. I'll have to check with Howie and ask how the "Mine Dumps" were today before heading up in the morning for a better scouting report.
I continued on daydreaming about what a great day we had just had, and about how tomorrow will be even better. I thought about how well my brother did and how pleaseed I was to see him so stoked about his day. Then reality set in. I heard my mothers stern high pitched voice coming out which meant the end of her speech without taking a breath was over.
Mom: And you even wore leg braces for a year and half as a boy. TJ you have to be more careful.
Me: Yes mom I will. hehehe.
Mom: Just what are you laughing about.
Me: It's snowing out.
Mom: You didn't hear a damn word I said did you.
Me: No Mom I didn't. It's SNOWING outside
to be cont
**NOTE** I did have to wear full leg braces like Gump did from the ages of 3 to alittle over 4. That is when I buried them in our next door neighbors sand pit because I kept being tagged "IT" when playing tag all of the time because I was slow from the braces. After I buried them nobody could catch me.
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Post by JB007 on Sept 19, 2006 23:18:10 GMT -5
"ASPEN: Please God let my car start" part X cont
Well my head hit the pillow hard when I got home. Infact all I remember is saying goodnight and hitting the mattress. I dreamed the same dream all night long. Skiing through the trees while it was just dumping. And when I woke up it was still dumping outside. And dumping, and dumping, and dumping.
We all got dressed and headed to breakfast. I was taking them to the "Hickory House" restaurant. The "HH" is a must visit for eats when you get to Aspen. My favorite is making my own omelet. I order it like this.
me: Yes I will take the "make your own omelet". And everything that is on the list put it in it". That being bacon, Monterey Jack cheese, chix, onion, mushrooms, red pepper, green pepper, potato, chili's with a side of sour cream and salsa.
Now tell me you are not hungry for that right now. Your hot omelet coming out with sides of sausage, home fries, fresh buttermilk biscuits, with gobs of real butter and honey. Yum yum yummy that is good eaten. Well I got my usual. Gage and mom went with the Buckwheat pancakes and fresh blueberries. We sat there enjoying our breakfast, while watching everybody walking in knocking the snow off of themselves. I was just grinning, and so was Gage. My Mom couldn't understand why we had to get up so early, and was still bugging us about it over breakfast.
Mom: I still don't see why you have to be up this early. It isn't even 7am yet.
Me: Well you want to shop in Glenwood Springs today so you need to drop us off at the mountain so you can keep the car.
Mom: TJ you live 3 blocks from Aspen Mountain. You can walk there.
Me: True but this certainly beats eating cereal and then having to walk 3 blocks to the Gondola.
Gage: Amen there big brother. My body is hurting and I'm just starving. Besides Mom you get to have the car, while we have to walk back later. And I'm buying breakfast for everybody by the way.
Me: damn. I knew I should have ordered the steak too! Thanks Gage.
Well we got done eating and Mom drove us to the mtn. We got done early so I had Mom take us to 1A to see if we can catch the early ride up with the Ruthie's workers and Ski Patrol. We were lucky they hadn't gone up yet because the top operator was till clearing snow off of the bull wheel. Ed and Tim informed us it was no problem to head on up. So we headed on up into the "Whiteroom".
Now if you have never ridden chair 1A on Ajax it is an old slow double Riblet chair and I love it. On the front face going up it seems almost vertical in spots by the "Corkscrewvalley" trails. They are really steep bump runs and they can get huge. We past them going up up and up. I showed Gage the lip you could get air off of on the "Lift 1A" trail, and to not take the bottom one because you have to make a 90 degree left turn right away and nobody ever makes it. It is one big crash and burn. I found that out personally one day. So we were approaching the top to unload and I noticed Larry was replacing me as the top operator today.
Larry is a "Piece of Schit" big time. He is a 5'6" thin headed, toothless, chubby little idiot. The guy accidentally shot his 45 caliber hand gun in his "Red Roof Inn" employee housing one night. He just missed shooting his roommate Hugh's head by 2 inches. Like I said he is an idiot. And each time he runs my lift he leaves it in an absolute mess. Don't even get me started on what he pulled there later in the year. His little stunt would turn into a book for sure. And he comes up with the lamest remarks for his trash talking. I bet he spends hours thinking them up, and ways to say them. I was right of course.
Larry: TJ. Who is your boyfriend there?
Me: Oh oh oh oh oh oh my God you are so funny. You should be on "Star Search". I heard that they were having a new category called "Carnival Side Show Acts". I bet you could win. But then again you would have to bite the head off of chickens and you need teeth to do that. So you wouldn't make it anyway. So sorry, but it looks like you have lots of shoveling to do. Have a great day. Bye
With that comment leaving Larry in a mind stupor we pushed off and skied away into Ajax heaven. I imagined Larry coming back with a comment about 30 seconds after we had left. Speaking his wit to nobody but the bull wheel turning above his head. Still makes me chuckle when I think about it.
Frankly I couldn't believe how lucky we were with all of this snow. It was just amazing. But man our legs, hell our entire body was stiff. Our first ski run was just ugly as we were trying to get some form of skiing rhythm going. I felt like I was skiing like the "tin man" instead of TJ. I think we each wiped out a half a dozen times going back down to the bottom of 1A. There was just so much snow. We were forced to stay on really steep terrain because in anything flatter you just stalled dead in your tracks. But who cared. It was another powder day in OZ. We got back to the base of 1A and Ed was just laughing at us.
Ed: You two look like Mr. and Mrs. Frostythesnowman. Must be pretty deep up there.
Gage: It is just incredible. I could hardly see from the snow going over my head.
Me: Man Ed this storm is crazy. This month is crazy.
Ed: Yes they say we are going to get another 8-12" out of this one today. You guys will ski down and then go back up and your tracks will be covered up all day long
And our tracks were covered up each and every run. Visibility was nasty. But on Ajax when it is storming really bad it is the place you want to be if your skiing the mountains around Aspen. With Ajax trails the visability is better because you can tell pitch and depth because of all the trees that line each trail. Furthermore, there is really no high alpine type skiing on Ajax. So we continued doing laps on lower Ruthie's and Strawpile until Ruthie's Chair 8 opened up to the top.
Then chair 8 opened up and the rest of the mtn too. Half way up chair 8 we could hear Patrol dropping the avi bombs down the ridge line. Those avi charges still freaked Gage out a bit. He was grabbing onto the chair bar so tight that I thought I could see his figure prints on the metal itself. To be honest it made me jump a bit too. It does everybody.
So we unload and took the "Tourtelotte Park" trail down to chair 3 "Ajax Express". The snow was even deeper. I told Gage about the cat track that was down below and how you could launch off of it. The landing was a good decline pitch, and with the snow being so deep who friggen cared if you wiped out or not.
So we hit it. Gage went first incase he crashed and burned. This way I could help him get his skis. He did the ugliest daffy I've ever seen in my life. And sure enough he wiped out. Just lost one ski however, and it was right next to him. I on the other hand had another evil idea. A very very evil idea.
I decided not to hit the lip but to come around and spray my little brother. It was a perfect opportunity to get him good. And he would be gotten very very good. With all of the snow covering him already, and all of the snow on the slope I bet I could completely bury him. And I did.
Me: beep beep beep. snowbug snowbug snowbug
Gage: No no. Wait don't do it. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
SWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHH
He was covered good. He could not be seen at all under all of that snow. He just looked like another rock covered snow pillow. Then he did the shaggy dog shake and became human form again. We laughed like kids. We did the snow bug routine to each other so many times growing up at Mt Brighton it wasn't even funny. Now we were doing it in Aspen over Christmas. PERFECT.
Gage: You know what pay backs are right.
Me: Yah. And what makes you think you are going to get the chance to pay me back today.
Gage: Who said anything about today.
Me: Ooh you have learned well young grasshopper, but master will always be one step ahead of lazy dog
And with that we headed to Kristie's and skiing nirvana. The day was perfect, and perfect powder turns is what we were seeking. The mtn was completely empty because it was snowing that hard. Slight wind but it wasn't really that bad. Besides the 10th mtn shell I was wearing had frozen so it stopped the wind from coming through anyway.
At the bottom of Kristie's on Gentleman's Ridge way we ran into Cheri, Jeff, and Jerry. Took a break, and then ran into more friends. We had 7 people total in our group. Funny how epic days bring out your best friends to share it with you.
to be cont
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