"ASPEN" Please God let my car start! Story NSFW

ASPEN: "God please let my car start" Part I

Well I finished my shift and went to Deweys. A local bar, but most of us called it "fights nightly". Amy was working the bar.


Amy: Hey TJ. Why are you mad?

Me: I'm not mad. Just have something to figure out.

Amy: Beer and a shot of Rumpy.

Me: Ya why not. Make it 3 shots of Rumpy. Here's my keys.

Amy: I'll drive you home. But to my home.

Me: Get your shots yet?

Amy: Asphole, you sure do sweet talk us all.

By then the rest of the guys from the line came in after Maag's (GM worker drunk joint) closed down at 1am. They all knew that I got offered a supervisor position. And the schit talking started. Not to mention shots of brown liquior. All I was thinking about was this post card from Aspen my older sister Betty sent me in July, when she and her husband Dan went camping there. Card had summer pictures of the Elk Mtns with the Maroon Bells in the background. The picture of those mtns on that post card still makes my heart ache alot.

All the card said was: "TJ. This place is perfect for you. You need to live your own life and not Dads or Moms. Think of yourself for a change."

My heart kicked the schit out of my brain and stomach after reading that card. Telling them both that I was leaving.

So I'm sitting at Dewey's with my friends that I've worked the last 4 months with. All teasing me about being their boss some day and how I will let them slack off. Calling me "Mr.Pushup" to get under my skin (Whenever the line went down I would do pushups). That's when I told them of my plans, and Smitty called me on it.


Me: Guys I'm going skiing.

Smitty: What the fukk are you talking about TJ.

Me: I'm going skiing in Aspen.

Smitty: TJ it's September. There is no snow.

Me: No you don't understand. I'm quiting the plant and moving to Aspen. Their hiring clinic is in 4 weeks October 9th and 10th. I'm not going to die in that plant. I'm not going to accept the supervisor job.

Believe me that there was some very heated conversations about that. They were my friends. And they all went to the UAW to get me hired on as full time. They went to bat for me. We sat their arguing about it untill Amy locked the bar doors. Then we drank and argued some more. I explained about watching my mom come home with 3rd degree burns from molten steal as an 8 year old, and now she has lung problems that the plant caused. I watched my Dad die of cancer. That's not the life I wanted.

2 of them would have nothing to do with me after that night. But the rest all understood and supported my descision. Now all I had to do was tell my Mom and Ron that I was quiting. Yikes

It went surprisingly good with my Mom. Well sort of anyway. But my Mom really surprised me and completely understood about my decision to not take the job. And I found out she didn't even know I was offered that salary job to begin with. I got offered it on merit alone. Ron on the other hand was mad as hell. He said the following Tuesday was my last day. And that I could get my final paycheck at personel. If I wanted to fight it with the union I could. I didn't. To this day I think he knew it wasn't right for me as well. He was just making it easier for me to leave with a clearer concience.

So I called the girl I had been driving to Cincinnati to see every other weekend and told her to move on with her life, and that she will find some rich guy to be with. I picked up my final paycheck that following Tuesday and cashed it at the bank. Packed my little ford escort to the gills. And at 8pm I left for Aspen. With no regrets at all. The adventure begins

End of Part I

ASPEN: "Please God let my car start" part II cont

Well I pulled into Weller camp ground after driving back up Independence Pass. First things first. Firewood. So I started scavengering for it. But it had rained earlier in the day so things were pretty wet. Luckily I had a can of liter fluid for my zippo (Yes I did find and use dry kindling: ). Took the entire can to get the fire going. And it was completely dark by the time I had it sparked up pretty good. Then I set myself to the other priority tasks at hand.

Set my tent up by the car lights. Ate some food, and then roped my cooler way up in an Aspen tree incase bears were around. And marked my territory incase bears were around as well. Then I just sat by my fire and looked at the stars.

Sometimes pure beauty can pass you bye. Other times it slaps you upside the head and makes you pay attention. It was slapping me upside the head. I could hear the river. The sound was peaceful. The stars seemed like I could just pluck them out of the sky by reaching up with my hand and just gently grabbing one. A half moon was very brightly out. The moon was so bright you could see the outline of the peaks encircling me. There was this silver looking ribbon from the moon outlining the tops of them. cough cough cough Whoa, altitude makes the buzz stronger.

Now I don't know how much time had passed by, but all of the sudden this subaru station wagon pulled into the camp ground. This girl got out and yelled.


Girl: Hey is that guy from Ohio in the black escort up here.

WTF. Am I in trouble? What's going on.


Me: Umm Yes I'm over here. What can I do for you.

Girl: Hi my name is Lisa. I see you found the place ok.

Me: Hi I'm TJ. Ya got here when the sun was going down. Had to set up in the dark. Why are you here again?

Lisa: I have a place for you to live incase you are interested. But there is a catch to it.

Me: Sure. What is the catch?

Lisa: You cannot move in untill Nov. But the Inverness lodge is renting out rooms for $350 a month untill the end of Nov so you can stay there untill the apt is available.

Me: I see. How much is this place.

Lisa: $165 a month. Includes cable. It's a studio right in town and it's furnish.

Ok I'm thinking that she is going to ask me to kill somebody, or some other crazy thing for hooking me up. And why is she hooking me up. I just met her 4 hours earlier while she was riding her bike. Something has to be wrong with this place. And how am I getting it so cheap. Frankly how am I getting it period.


Me: Umm Miss. Now don't get me wrong. But why are you offering this to me. It's like catching the goose that lays the golden egg. When I read the papers "for rent" adds the cheapest I saw was $400 for just a bedroom.

Lisa: Well a friend has the lease and they are leaving. They need someone to take over the lease. And, well the apt sets above the boiler and laudryroom. It can get warm, and you hear sounds.

Me: I'll take it.

Lisa: You sure. You don't want to look at it.

Me: Ya I'm sure. I'm camping out with my food tied up in a tree. I'll take it for sure.

So with that she gave me her friends phone number and address of the place. The appartment was right on West Hopkins St. One block from Wagner park and downtown Aspen. 3 blocks from Ajax itself.


Me: Hey thanks for the hookup. Why are you so nice to me and helping me out.

Lisa. You said Please and thankyou. You don't hear that too often from the fish in the barrel here. You know more men that women here. Besides you look like Magnum PI.

Me: Heh

end of part II

GREAT STORY MORE PLEASE ;D ;D ;D ;D

ASPEN, Please God let my car start. Part IV

Well I got up the next morning. Got the fire going. Bayouboy was gone already. Actually it seemed like everybody was gone. Then I looked at my watch. It wasn't early in the am. It was like 10am.

"schit schit schit. I have to get to the Buttermilk Inn for the hiring clinic.

Then I happened to look in the mirror of my car. 4 day beard and face was rather sooty looking from the camp fire, or maybe from the toiletpaper pipe I made the night before. Either way I had to get cleaned up fast. But there aint no showers at Weller campground. But I do remember there being a health club down the road. So I grabbed my best looking sweatsuit, pulled out my new basketball shoes (actually I wore these almost always) and tried to sneak into the "Aspen Club" to get cleaned up.

I had to go by ear on how to sneak in. So I put on my Yankees hat and tried to look rich. Even parked my loaded up ford escort way up in the corner of the employee parking to not get noticed. Tried the employee entrance but no way I could get in there. So I went into the main lobby and read the paper. Trying to look like I was waiting for someone.


girl: Can I help you?

me: No I'm waiting on a friend.

girl: Is that friend Mr Shower?

Can you say "BUSTED". So I did something very strange. I told the girl the truth. And then segwayed into the BayouBoy deer race story to get her laughing. In 5 minutes she gave me a key to a locker, and 5 guest pass's to get me by until I moved into my soon to be apt.

Now if you've never been to any of the Gym/Spa's in Aspen. Well they are quite the deal. Every ammenity you can possibly imagine they have. Even towel boys. And what a schitty job that must be. The guy working it had to be illegal. Standing there for 8hrs handing out towels to fat rich guys that didn't have the terms "thank you, or tips" in their belly over belt vocabulary. I gave the guy a $1 and he would most likely clip my toenails if I had let him he was so thankful.

Note to self. Never be a towel boy.

So I get to the Buttermilk Inn. Sign in and then started to take the honesty test they gave me. 4 questions into this thing and I wanted to walk up to the girl who gave it to me along with my #2 pencil and say: "Yes I did make it past the 4th grade and I do know the difference between stealing and not stealing even when being asked that same question over and over again 1000 different ways".

Note to self. Never work as pencil girl.

So I finished the test. Then I got to fill out my application and circled which jobs I was interested in. Patrol, Lifty, womens lockeroom towel boy. Then I got my wait in line number. So I waited, and waited, and waited.

***Number 119 please come to the sign in table***



me: Hi I'm #119

Pencilgirl: Here are your numbers for the interview table inside. When you complete your interview please return the number.

me: Yes Mistress. (she didn't get it)

Well lucky for me I only had one number. The interview section for Patrol, Lifty, womens lockerroom towel boy was all held at the same table. And for purpose's so I don't go nuts typing each persons title like: "womens lockerroom towel boy supervisor", the following labels will be used.

Patrol Supervisor=PS
Lift Supervisor=LS
Women's lockerroom towel boy supervisor=gaybob=GB


LS: So you last worked at General Motors. What did you do there.

me: I worked on the crankline. Taking fire hot crankshafts and tossing them into bins to be sent to finishing.

LS: Why did you leave that job? It most certainly had to pay well.

Me: Yes the pay was nice. Money isn't everything though.

PS: Another true believer (sarcasim).

LS: You were also in the Army. What rank, and what did you do.

me: SPC4, and I was in an infantry unit.

PS. Well you have excellant credentials. But we don't hire anyone for patrol until they go through the patrol clinic after the mtn opens. And we only have 1 spot open this season.

LS: DO YOU HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE?

me: Yes I do. I'm moving in later. It's on West Hopkins street.

LS: You are hired.

And with that I said thank you. Shook hands with them. Got the Ski Patrol hiring clinic info. My jaw then hit the floor when I found out I had to pay extra money to take the clinic. After I picked my jaw back up off of the floor I found, and then proceded to the bar.

The bartender was this skinny balding guy wearing a hawian shirt. Spoke with kind of an "Egor" accent, and laughed like Krissy from the "3's company" sitcom. So I ordered a beer. Hey I could afford it. I was making whopping $5.90 an hour now.


Egor: So you got hired. snort snort snort

me: Ya. Starting as a lifty.

Egor: Make sure you want to be a top operator. They get paid an extra .25 an hour and you atleast get to ski down at the end of the day.

me: Thanks for the info. Names TJ

Egor: I'm Egor. Wanna buy some coke?

Heh. Aspen. Go figure!

ASPEN "please God let my car start" part IV cont

OK what is wrong with this picture. I just get hired by the SkiCo. I go out to the bar to have a celebratory beer. Egor here tries to sell me coke right away. And I don't know this guy from Adam (sorry adam figure of speech). Alarms were going off in my head.

narc narc narc narc narc narc narc

Is this how SkiCo discovers who the druggies are when they first hire them? I had no idea. So I politely refused Egor's offer, and quietly drank my beer. And to be honest I didn't think to much about blow. I felt it was a waste of money, and the effect it has on the male sex organ certainly made me not want to use it.

Then I could not believe what happened next. In fact it just floored me how relaxed people were about it. This girl walks up to the bar. Puts $100 down on the bar. Egor takes out a small white packet from his pocket, then flips it to her, while scooping up the money in the same motion. And if you didn't pay attention you would have missed it.

So now the bar turned into a "New Hire" happy hour. Locals talked about how well the HS football team was doing. I just kept a low profile and sucked in as much info as possible. Made some friends, and got invited to a few parties over the weekend. And got a line on a construction job at the Airport Business Center (ABC)until the mtn opened. Then I made my way into town to locate the "Inverness Inn" to rent a room for the month before I could move into my apt. The thought of a warm room with comfortable bed was very appealing to me. Besides I don't know what hunting exploits Bayou Boy had in store for tonight.

Finding the place was easy. Just off of Durrant ave, and 1 block down of the Lift 1A base. Nice looking building. And it had a hot tub. However, the hot tub was closed until Nov 1st. Bummer .

So I went inside and spoke to Liz the day manager. Very attractive redhead. And I do mean very attractive. A 12 on a scale of 1-10. So I thought I would put the TJ charm machine in motion. And my charm machine was quickly shot down when 2 minutes into my charm machine Liz's boyfriend walked in. And he immediately did every type of body language he could to show that "Hey man I've been waiting a long time for my turn with her. And I'm not done trying yet".

So I kept the conversation to what kind of room was available. Liz informed me that there was two types rooms available for the 30 day renters. A room with 2 double beds for $400 a month, or a room with a King bed for $450 a month. I was definitely in sticker shock. It was the mid 80's and $200 a month for an apt back home was considered high. Liz excused boyfriend telling him she had to show me the rooms. As soon as boyfriend left the conversation with Liz changed really quickly.


Liz: Sorry about my BF. He's way to possessive. I've been trying to figure out how to break up with him for a month now.

SCCCHHHIIIIITTTT. Poor guy lost his turn and doesn't even know it. And I had a feeling that Liz thought I might have on my Dr Ruth mask on for deep therapy, otherwise known as [glow=red,2,300]"WILD MONKEY LOVING"[/glow].


me: That's OK. No need to explain to me. Is cable included, and is there any utility costs involved?

Liz: He just smothers me. Wants to know who I'm with, where I'm going. I bet that as soon as you leave he calls me asking about you.

SCHIT SCHIT SCHIT. I'm going to get the entire sob story. Now normally a guy would capitalize on this situation. He would immediately get in line very fast in case it was his turn, while feeling for that "Emergency condom" located in the small pocket of his Levi's. But I was new in town and the last thing I needed was a ex-boyfriend pissed off at me. So I just listened, and whenever Liz dropped some hints to me I quickly changed the subject. Then Liz invited me to one of the same parties on Saturday I was invited to already. I said yes I would go. Next thing I know Liz is giving me the King room for $325. It even had a small fridge. She gave me my room key. Then I drove back up to Weller to pack my tent up and move into town.

The camp ground was empty. A US forest ranger was there. He informed me that they were closing the campground early because the snow level was dropping earlier than expected. I talked to him for a good while. He asked me about Bayou boy, and we got a good laugh about of his race with the mule deer. Then he told me about .10 drinks at the Tippler until 10pm tonight. All the locals hit it in the off season.

I just had one thought. Does anybody in Aspen ever stay sober?

Well the park ranger left. I had finished packing all my stuff into my car. Said good bye to the camp site, and took the winding road back into town. Now when I got to the Inverness Inn Liz wasn't working. Only the night lady was on duty. She kinda looked like Bette Midler in that "Hocus Pocus" movie. Wort and all. She asked what I was doing. I told her that I was moving my stuff into my room I rented. Then she got alittle pissy with me.


Witch: What room are you taking?

Me: Room 22. I rented it 3hrs ago from Liz. Your manager.

Witch: Well she didn't tell me. I have to talk to her before you can move in.

Me: Look here is my receipt. Lease contract, and my Key.

Witch: They could be phony's. We get that here. I must call Liz first.

Me: Fine. Call Liz. But I'm moving my stuff up stairs to my ROOM that I paid for.

Witch: No sir you will not. Don't make me call the police.

Me: Fine call the police. And while you are at it tell me who the owner of this place is? Because when you call Liz I'm going to tell her how rude you are and then speak to the owner and pass along the same info. Now I'm moving in.

Ya know what. She called the police. They came and made me sit in the lobby until she got ahold of Liz. Luckily Liz was over at the main office at the Saint Moritz hostel when she called. And I could tell by the look on Witch's face that Liz was not very happy with her when she handed me the phone. In fact Witch was looking rather green. The police left as I was talking to Liz. And in a way I should thank Witch for being, well a Witch. Liz took another $50 off of my rental, and gave me a key to the laundry room and kitchen. So thank you WitchyWoman that I never saw at the hotel the rest of the time I was there.

So I took care of priorities when moving my stuff in. Stereo got hooked up first. I wanted to blast some Van Halen, but I figured best not to push it since the police were here once already this evening.

Time just whizzed by in the room, while putting my stuff away. Luckily I looked at the time and it was 9:15PM. Himmmmm .10drinks from 9-10 at the Tippler. Ya I gotta go. So I showered, dressed and drove what ended up to be only 3 blocks down to the Tippler bar. I felt like an idiot when I asked some people coming out of the "home plate" restaurant where the Tippler bar was. I got the rookie look big time.

At this point it was 9:45 and only 15 minutes left of the cheap booze. I could drive the two blocks back to the Inverness and miss the cheap drinks, or find a place to park and hammer drinks as fast as I could. I found a parking spot. Actually a great one. Right in front of the Tippler. Later this would become my downfall.

So I go inside. Check my coat. Got my ID checked by the skinny midget doorman named "Jerry" and went inside. Place was jumping. 70 and 80's dance music going. Ski porn being shown on this big screen above a sitting area next to the bathrooms. Pretty nice place actually. Had a nice dance floor and dark corners to have fun in as well.

So I quickly find a seat at the bar and promptly ordered 10 vodka's on rocks with lime. That's when I became friends with Scotty the bartender. (*Note* there are two Scotts in my story. There is Scotty the bartender, and Scott the ski instructor)


Scotty: Rookie huh.

Me: What? ( I yelled because the music was very loud)

Scotty: ROOKIE, you know new guy in town.

Me: Ya. Sorry about that.

Scotty: You can't order 10 drinks at once here at the bar. You can only order two at a time. But if you drink them fast and tip me well I will make two more as soon as I see nothing but ice in your class.

Scotty was making me two more drinks as he was talking to me. By the time he said "ice" both glass's were empty. I then laid $1 to the side to pay for the 10 drinks, and another $6 next to it for a tip. For the rest of my time there I never waited to get a drink at the Tippler. Infact I drank for free mostly because I always gave Scotty a very good tip up front. So remember when you ski bum it somewhere to always tip local bartenders very well. And those local bartenders will take very good care of you. And will give good reports about you to the local women. Guys cheap dirtbags never get laid. Always tip like it is a religion when at the bars.

Well the night wore on. I was a dancing fool from the very good high altitude buzz I had going. This one legged very hot blonde girl and I were having a grand old time of things. Then I saw Liz enter the bar. And she was there alone, with no boyfriend in tow by the looks of things.

I hate times like this. You got things working good with one girl and in walks another girl that has tossed good vibes to you as well. How in the hell do you handle this coolly without looking like a jerk? If anybody knows please tell me

So blonde girl (I still cannot remember her name), and I were sitting at one of these tall round tables next to the dance floor. Liz sees me and waves high and I wave high back. Blonde girl gets pissed off. Then goes off on this story about how Liz stole her last boyfriend. So right then and there I knew my night was over with blonde girl. Instead of having fun with me, she was now fixated on Liz. Then Liz's boyfriend showed up. Oh nuts. Either one of two things is going to happen now.

1. Drunk cat fight over boyfriend.
2. I'm used as the "Lets make old boyfriend jealous with new guy in town boy toy".

Option two happened. And it got old very quickly. And I informed Liz that I didn't appreciate it. Then I excused myself to the bathroom. Gave a wink to Liz that I was sorry this happened her, and made the "exit stage right" move to collect my thoughts.

When I came out of the bathroom Blonde girl was going at it with Liz's old boyfriend. By going at it. I mean seeing how far they can put each others tongue down each others throat before someone yells out the obvious call. "Why don't you two get a fukking room" Noooo schit Sherlock was echoing in the back of my brain.

So I immediately looked for Liz. She was no where to be found. I just figured she had finally found the way to breakup with the boyfriend. Certainly she did by the way her ex was going at it with the little blonde girl I was with. Hmmmmmmm maybe my turn will come soon.

So the place was still jumping, and it was just after midnight. I thought I would go out to my car and smoke a bowl of chronic. When I get done, I'll just go back inside. That was my plan at any rate. WRONG!!!!!

Now when I left home on this trip my younger brother gave me some good sized buds from his homegrown patch back in the woods. Pretty good stuff actually. Lot's of red hairs in them. Anywho I packed a bowl and started to spark it up.

BAM BAM BAM. POLICE. FREEZE!!!!!!

Fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkk. First night out partying in Aspen and I get caught smoking weed by the local fuzz.


Cop1: Sir step out of the car with your hands in plain site.

Me: Yes sir. No problem. My wallet and ID are in my left rear jeans pocket.

So they patted me down. Took my pipe, and weed. Then we started talking about the best ways to grow pot. Now I know you are thinking WTF.


Cop2: Man nice looking buds. Where did you get this?

Me: I don't know. Picked up along the road coming here.

Cop2: Hey relax. We aren't going to bust you. Infact I have halves forsale at $60 if you are interested

Aspen. Go figure

End of Part IV

So you guys like this eh! Do you all want me to continue. Post a reply if you do ;D

Ditto - your past life's more exciting than mine will ever be!!